She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
