I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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