More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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