Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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