Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
