Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...