i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread