So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count