Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left