I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.