I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
