Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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