The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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