Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
