you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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