FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
