We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
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we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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