sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
