Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
