The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
