just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
