awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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