Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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