I just found puke in my bra..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
