Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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