Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
