Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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