Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
