its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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