cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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