Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
