Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
sex in a hospital.. check
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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