I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
