hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
