I think I won the penis lottery.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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