I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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