I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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