Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
