Please, let me fuck your mom
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
