Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think my moral compass just broke
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
