Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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