Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
