whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
