here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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