roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
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just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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