Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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