Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
my liver is dry heaving
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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