I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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