i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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