I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
