Is it normal to miss your booty call?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do flat chested girls get laid?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
