I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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