My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
