He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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