All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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