She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
