Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
