I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
