He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
