Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
