I will die if light touches me.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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