Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
