I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
