Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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